light & shadow

New Years Reflections

2011-12-30T13:58:00.001-08:00

From simplemom.net

Reflection Questions for 2011

1. What was the single best thing that happened this past year?

2. What was the single most challenging thing that happened?

3. What was an unexpected joy this past year?

4. What was an unexpected obstacle?

5. Pick three words to describe 2011.

6. Pick three words your spouse would use to describe your 2011 (don’t ask them; guess based on how you think your spouse sees you).

7. Pick three words your spouse would use to describe their 2011 (again, without asking).

8. What were the best books you read this year?

9. With whom were your most valuable relationships?

10. What was your biggest personal change from January to December of this past year?

11. In what way(s) did you grow emotionally?

12. In what way(s) did you grow spiritually?

13. In what way(s) did you grow physically?

14. In what way(s) did you grow in your relationships with others?

15. What was the most enjoyable area of managing your home?

16. What was your most challenging area of home management?

17. What was your single biggest time waster in your life this past year?

18. What was the best way you used your time this past year?

19. What was the biggest thing you learned this past year?

20. Create a phrase or statement that describes 2011 for you.

Week 2: Awaiting An Advent - Luke 2:22-35

2011-12-04T20:59:00.001-08:00

Week 1: Promises & Patience

2011-11-27T20:55:00.001-08:00

ADVENTure

2011-11-24T21:10:00.001-08:00

Advent starts this Sunday! Here's a great resource with readings and family devotionals for each week from our friends at The Village Church!

http://www.thevillagechurch.net/the-village-blog/advent-at-the-village/

Givingthanks

2011-11-24T21:04:00.001-08:00

"Oh give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, for His steadfast love endures forever!" Psalm 107:1

Gungor - Beautiful Things

2011-10-11T20:09:00.000-07:00

How does He make beautiful things? I saw Gungor on Sunday and as they played this song, this is what I was thinking about. Picturing each frustrating aspect of my life: work, ministry, relationships... I mourned the idea that anything beautiful would come of them. And then the answer came; simply, subtly, unexpectedly. "Faith." The key ingredient that was missing from each situation. I have been trying hard to do God's work, but God is the one with the plan. I don't consult him as often as I would if I thought He was in control. Faith is the substance of things hoped for. Faith is the evidence of things unseen. Faith is the material God uses to build his kingdom. He makes beautiful things out of our faith, not out of our striving or even our abilities.

eh.

2011-09-13T21:54:00.000-07:00

time for an update. not much to say. back on the yoga kick, thought about becoming an instructor (right now i can't even touch my toes) but it motivates me. also looked up the implications of such, as it pertains to my faith. still undecided. still riding my bike to work. the other day i turned to my husband and said "have you noticed that since i started riding my bike, i haven't been crazy?" somehow i feel much less anxious and more clear-headed when i exercise. it's not something i have been able to pull off consistently before, but i guess i found my niche. if you haven't found yours, that should give you hope. i have never enjoyed exercise before.

in other news, everyone is pregnant, and i love party planning. going on my second baby shower. theme: butterflies. inspiration: see below.

how cute is that!!! more pictures to come...

"Recently"

2011-08-09T21:57:00.000-07:00

(an idea borrowed from a dear sweet friend)

Making: These things called "Poms". So much fun. http://www.marthastewart.com/how-to/tissue-paper-pom-poms-how-to

Reading: The book of Jude, and Amos. Trying to get back on track with my quiet time. Trying to finish "Having A Mary Heart In A Martha World", but I just can't get into it for some reason.

Listening To: Switchfoot (they never get old). Just realized that a song I used to console myself with actually had a lot of foreshadowing:

From the song "Golden",

"You're far from home, it's a perfect place to start."

"Like freedom in spring."

"The more we learn the less we know."

All things that I have experienced in the past year. Funny how God taps me on the shoulder sometimes and reminds me that he is faithful.

Going: To bed.

Goodnight!

Emerson

2011-05-14T17:52:00.000-07:00

"To believe your own thought, to believe that what is true for you in your private heart is true for all men - that is genius. Speak your latent conviction, and it shall be the universal sense; for the inmost in due time becomes the outmost, and our first thought is rendered back to us by the trumpets of the Last Judgement. Familiar as the voice of the mind is to each, the highest merit we ascribe to Moses, Plato, and Milton is that they set at naught books and traditions, and spoke not what men, but what they thought. A man should learn to detect and watch that gleam of light which flashes across his mind from within, more than the lustre of the firmament of bards and sages. Yet he dismisses without notice his thought, because it is his. In every work of genius we recognize our own rejected thoughts; they come back to us with a certain alienated majesty. ...Else tomorrow a stranger will say with masterly good sense precisely what we have thought and felt all the time, and we shall be forced to take with shame our own opinion from another. "

There is a time in every man's education when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance; that imitation is suicide;, that he must take himself for better for worse as his portion; that though the wide universe is full of good, no kernel of nourishing corn can come to him but through his toil bestowed on that plot of ground which is given to him to till. The power which resides in him is new in nature, and none but he knows what that is which he can do, nor does he know until he has tried. Not for nothing one face, one character, one fact, makes much impression on him, and another none. This sculpture in the memory is not without preestablished harmony. The eye was placed where one ray should fall, that it might testify of that particular ray. We but half express ourselves, and are ashamed of that divine idea which each of us represents. It may be safely trusted as proportionate and of good issues, so it be faithfully imparted, but God will not have his work made manifest by cowards."

From Self-Reliance

The Strangest Thing

2011-04-15T17:58:00.000-07:00

I went to bed feeling bad about something I said to Bob, knowing it would still be eating me the next day... but I had the strangest dream that I was evangelizing this old man who felt that he had done so many bad things in his life that he was beyond hope. I don't recall any of the particulars, but I remember telling him "You can't have guilt without forgiveness" (something to the effect that it would destroy you... and that we have guilt so that we can also have forgiveness.)

hmm.

Lessons From Mose

2011-02-10T19:47:00.000-08:00

I recently decided that my cat, Mose, would make a great therapy pet. He is very affectionate and not at all afraid of strangers. In order to get certified, he has to be leash trained. So I bought him a harness, which he hates. I've been putting it on him for short periods of time, trying to help him get used to it. We are now on day 4, and he still can't seem to walk forward. Either he just lays there looking pathetic, or crawls up the furniture backwards trying to rub it off.

This experience reminds me of God, and how He knows the good plans He has for us... how many times have I questioned His motives like Mose is questioning mine?

time for OWLS!

2011-01-31T22:23:00.001-08:00

Weird stuff from old journals.

2011-01-29T17:03:00.000-08:00

Ode To A Beloved Cousin:

Frustration.

Words can not convey

The concern I feel

For the unnecessary pain

Caused by a lack of unwillingness to pause

And see that life is not the enemy

And you are not it's hostage, or a victim -

But a prisoner of your own illusion.

I don't have the capacity to make you see.

My words fall short

And still there is no peace inside your soul.

It knows it could be so much more, and yet

It won't believe.

Stubbornly

You sit in the midst of a disaster

You say is all your fault

But your only fault is your choice.

Consequences are natural.

Anyone can wreak havoc with little effort.

But I see a light, an escape -

Everything you miss and hope for

Are more than just memories and dreams -

He lives.

This Morning

2011-01-28T17:32:00.000-08:00

"Suppose there is a well of fathomless trouble inside your heart, and Jesus comes and says "Let not your heart be troubled," and you shrug your shoulders and say "But Lord, the well is deep; you cannot draw up quietness and comfort out of it." No, He will bring them down from above. Jesus does not bring anything up from the wells of human nature... The well of your incompleteness is deep, but make the effort and look away to Him." -Oswald Chambers

Lately

2011-01-25T21:04:00.000-08:00

This post is dedicated to Rosydreamer.

Learning: That even the smallest things can alter my attitude towards God. Checking Facebook first thing in the morning will squelch my desire to pray, while praying in the morning will squelch my desire to shop later on (shopping is something I do when I'm anxious).

"You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me."
John 15:3-4

Also, my mom has a new blog! Check it out.

Happy Hope Week!

2010-11-29T18:39:00.000-08:00

So, true to my word, I did buy an Advent Wreath (er... candle holder). Sadly, I found no "authentic" Advent items (or Nativity Scenes for that matter) but I did make my own and I suppose that gives it more meaning. Yesterday we lit the "Hope" candle, read a Bible passage, and prayed together. It was a sweet way to remember the true meaning of Christmas.

In case you'd like to join, you can learn more about Advent here.

Merry Christmas?

2010-11-22T18:35:00.000-08:00

The other day I was listening to Christmas music in my office, when my coworker walked in. She asked me if I liked Christmas music and I said yes. She said she couldn't stand it, and that if not for her children she probably wouldn't celebrate Christmas at all. Appalled, I asked her why not. She explained that the holiday had lost it's meaning and turned into a celebration of commercialism. (Mind you, my co-worker is not particularly religious.) This struck me, because I do consider myself to be religious (well, I don't actually use the word "religious", but you know what I mean). It struck me because I claim to celebrate the "true meaning" of Christmas and yet my response to the situation is very different. I love Christmas and everything that comes with it. Maybe something is wrong with me... the thought continued to disturb me over the weekend. I thought about it Sunday morning while singing at church. I looked around at people praising God with arms outstretched, and then I remembered that we do have something to celebrate. And while the world has made Christmas a self-centered season, that's no reason for me not to celebrate it's true meaning. In fact, how much more should Christians feel the warmth and excitement of this "holy day"? Every good and perfect gift comes from above. All of the things I love about Christmas originated in Christ. I don't have to choose between celebration and solemnity. In fact, in the Old Testament God actually commanded His people to celebrate. The verse comes to mind: "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven." (Matthew 5:16)

I think I'm going to make an Advent Wreath.

A Quote

2010-11-12T06:51:00.000-08:00

"If God has made your cup sweet, drink it with grace; if He has made it bitter, drink it in communion with Him." - Oswald Chambers

If I Were A Bird

2010-09-28T17:24:00.000-07:00

"Delicious Autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird, I would fly about the earth seeking the successive Autumns."
-George Eliot

Wake Up And Be Amazing

2010-09-25T07:12:00.000-07:00

saw this commerical this morning:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LmeFRZINvJg

(ironically, i was eating oatmeal at the time), but after a tough week, it reminded me to get back on the horse and keep trying to make my mornings count.

"In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation." Psalm 5:3

AWESOME.

2010-08-29T08:20:00.000-07:00

crochet stuff with old grocery bags
http://theorganicsister.com/2009/03/crocheting-with-plarn/

Read This

2010-08-11T09:29:00.000-07:00

This is a really good article about spending money in relation to happiness. Interesting and inspiring.

http://finance.yahoo.com/family-home/article/110275/but-will-it-make-you-happy

Worth Reading

2010-07-24T22:08:00.000-07:00

"Living More with Less is a very practical book about living simply and being less attached to wealth and material possessions. It is full of hundreds of small and workable suggestions for making do, getting by, reusing old materials into new ones, and generally changing your attitude..."

1 cent + shipping at amazon.com!

Take Back the Morning

2010-07-15T17:45:00.000-07:00

lately i have been on a campaign to make the most of my mornings. if you know me, you know that i am NOT a morning person. i'm a sleep-in-till-the-last-minute person, but i have finally realized that sleeping in never keeps it's promises. i'm tired of being a chronically late, spiritually malnourished and undisciplined person who never has time for the things i enjoy (or even simple chores, oftentimes). no more.

Thus, my new schedule:

5:30 wake up, eat, do face/hair (i shower at night to save time)

waking up at 5:30 isn't as hard as i thought. in fact, it's easier for me than waking up at 6. must have something to do with my sleep cycle or something.

6:15 yoga, water plants, feed cats, etc.

7:00 read/pray

7:40 dress, go to work

simple, but life-changing.

How to have a good morning - part 2: NOURISH

2010-07-14T18:08:00.000-07:00

suggestions:

cereal with fruit - i like frozen blueberries - they're cheaper than fresh, and just as good for you. keep 'em in the fridge.

greek yogurt - i'm not a yogurt fan, but this has a different texture and enough protein to keep you full throughout the morning.

green tea - packed with antioxidants, i.e. fights all kinds of diseases, boosts metabolism, and is said to have anti-aging properties.

how to have a good morning - part 1: STRETCH

2010-07-08T06:21:00.000-07:00

easy 15-minute morning yoga.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LeL3IvG4iJI

2010-06-30T17:56:00.000-07:00

O what peace we often forfeit,
O what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry
Everything to God in prayer!

Created vs. Comfortable

2010-06-27T08:35:00.000-07:00

"You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham's seed, and heirs according to the promise."

Galatians 3:26-29

I sometimes tell myself that I was created a certain way, when really I am just comfortable with certain attitudes and beliefs because they shield me from things I don't know how to deal with. Let this be a reminder that I can no longer blame it on my race, gender, or parental unit.

RAWR!

2010-06-26T06:57:00.000-07:00

a recipe and a challenge

2009-11-25T06:59:00.000-08:00

recipe:
http://www.cdkitchen.com/recipes/recs/83/Allisons_Broccoli_Salad13086.shtml

challenge:
http://www.cdkitchen.com/recipes/recs/83/Allisons_Broccoli_Salad13086.shtml

*note, the two have nothing to do with eachother, unless you invite someone over for dinner.

glory

2009-11-02T06:53:00.001-08:00

think about such things

2009-10-18T11:11:00.000-07:00

last week i had a conversation with a dear friend, who reminded me that in order to overcome challenges, you can't just focus on the problem - you have to celebrate small victories. i heard something similar at church this morning. so often we focus on trying not to do bad things, instead of learning to love what is good. but God's desire is not just for us to follow the rules, he wants us to be transformed by the renewing of our minds.

maybe that's why paul says "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things." Phillipians 4:8

YES!

2009-09-22T11:08:00.000-07:00

i believe this is what heaven looks like.

2009-09-20T09:34:00.000-07:00

Elijah was afraid, and ran for his life... and the word of the Lord came to him: "What are you doing here, Elijah?" He replied, "I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too."

The Lord said "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by. Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. when Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went and stood at the mouth of the cave. Then a voice said to him "What are you doing here, Elijah?

He replied "I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too." 1 Kings 19:9-14

i started reading this story a couple of days ago and it was very frustrating to me. i couldn't understand how elijah could give God exactly the same answer, after all that had happened. he was afraid, so he ran. and God took care of him, even "passed by him" (which seems to happen only to special people on special occaisions in the old testament) and still, elijah was afraid.

or at least that's what i got out of it. determined to find an explanation, i read commentaries and different translations, hoping a different perspective might help me understand why elijah didn't fall down and worship, or put on sackcloth and ashes, or something. the more i pondered, the more i realized that maybe it wasn't elijah's response that was troubling me, but my own. after all that God has done for me, how can i ever stand before him with the same fears, the same dispassionate attitude? what's wrong with me? yesterday i read in james "mercy triumphs over judgement." i can judge elijah - and myself, but God has a plan for us that can't be foiled by our weaknesses. somehow, he loves us anyway.

appreciate this

2009-09-20T07:50:00.000-07:00

who

2009-07-26T12:18:00.000-07:00

i heard something today that made me think. ( i love it when that happens, because so often i don't think about what i hear - not enough to make a difference, anyway) anyway... someone said "it's not WHAT you are, it's WHO you are." a WHAT can be anything, but a WHO is very specific. God made me WHO i am. and no matter WHAT i may be, (an employee, a fiance, a friend, a daughter, or a "christian") it is who i am that matters.

"who" is also a process. i've been thinking a lot about consistancy lately, and how (in some cases) it is important to focus on the bigger picture instead of overanalyzing the details. for instance, if i want to know God better, i have to spend time with him on a consistant basis. if i don't do that, knowing him will never be part of "who" i am. (see the post entitled "just do it"). this goes for a lot of other things too. practice takes time, willingness, humility, and it eventually makes perfect (or close to it).

"Not that I have already obtained all this [knowing God], or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Philipians 3:12-16

FYI

2009-07-25T19:07:00.000-07:00

i changed my url (now "sunshineprover.blogspot.com")

FYI

2009-07-25T13:35:00.001-07:00

i added to the post called "memory verse".

2009-07-25T12:41:00.000-07:00

and it was all yellow...

memory verse

2009-07-11T12:50:00.000-07:00

"a wife of noble character who can find?
she is worth far more than rubies.
her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
she brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life."
(proverbs 31:10-12)

it's really strange to think of myself as a wife, but that's what i am becoming... and i'm slowly learning what it really means. before i met my fiance, i have to admit that i didn't care much for wives. not the wives themselves, but the idea of being one. it seemed selfish and unambitious, because i had watched so many wives set aside their potential to live (what i deemed to be) painfully mediocre lives, serving only the interests of the family they created while the whole world went without the (whatever) they could have provided (inspiration, ingenuity, etc.) and on top of that, some of them weren't even happy.

it seems harsh, but that's really how i felt.

so where am i now? well... i know i was wrong. i still don't know exactly what being a wife is all about, but i'm ready to learn, and i figure the Bible is a good place to start (since this whole "marriage" thing was God's idea in the first place, right?)

2009-07-08T19:33:00.000-07:00

wow, i'm kinda bad at keeping up with this thing.

thought for the day: walks are nice. they're even nicer with a friend :)

exhortation of the month (AKA: proverbs by nike).

2009-05-22T18:37:00.000-07:00

my latest discovery is that it's no good fighting with yourself about legalistic, yet overall beneficial things. i used to fight with myself a lot about getting up and reading my Bible in the morning, and sometimes i wouldn't do it just to spite myself - but then i realized that in the long run, it doesn't really matter how i feel about it on a particular morning, because there is so much good to be gained from doing it consistantly. after about a week, waking up at 6 wasn't even so bad. now it's just something i do, and i can tell a difference. so for all those struggling with habits, i'm sayin' JUST DO IT. (and stop analyzing).

"chasing cars" or "the illusion of control"

2009-04-02T18:22:00.000-07:00

it occurred to me today, as i was driving home and listening to my ipod on "shuffle", that i don't really want that much control over my life.

i'm kind of a control freak. it's like this anxious, pulsating undertone to most of my days. i think i do it because there are certain things i know that i can't control, so i kind of hone in on what i can.

anyway, i was listening to my ipod and a song came on that i didn't particularly want to listen to just then, so i reached over to change it... and then i realized how stressful it is to have such control. i thought about the people i work with who are mentally ill and have come to a place where they have basically no control over anything anymore, and they call it REHAB. a place of healing. a place of accepting your weaknesses and the cards you've been dealt, and working with instead of against them. i think that's the way it's supposed to be, for everybody everywhere. some of the happiest people i've ever seen are those with the least amount of control over their lives. kids in third world countries, kids in general... they don't worry, they just take what comes.
while those of us who do have some control try and use it to do impossible things. like dogs chasing cars, only we're not even enjoying it. what would a dog do with a car if he actually caught it? what would i do with myself if everything was just the way i wanted it? life would be pretty predictable, and i probably wouldn't grow at all as a person. what do you call a kid who gets everything he wants? spoiled. (litterally).

so i let the song play, and enjoyed the sunshine instead...